Even the most dedicated Dangerous Goods professional can’t help but hear about football this time of year.
Here’s a quick guide to a selection of football terms that sound like they could refer to the Dangerous Goods business. Study this list, and you’ll sound like you know what you’re talking about at that Big Game party.
Double Coverage
Football meaning: Two defenders attempt to keep one receiver from catching a forward pass.
DG meaning: One situation is governed by two sets of regulations, most likely in conflict.
Eight in the Box
Football meaning: The defense crowds eight players near the line of scrimmage to thwart a rushing attempt.
DG meaning: A misguided attempt to ship eight metal cans in a package designed for six.
Illegal Procedure
Football meaning: An offensive player moves before the ball is snapped; a.k.a. “false start.”
DG meaning: A shipper transports a hazardous material before it’s been classified, a.k.a. “stupid and dangerous.”
Ineligible Receiver
Football meaning: An offensive lineman, who is not permitted to catch a forward pass.
DG meaning: Someone who isn’t trained to handle Dangerous Goods, but accepts delivery anyway.
Interception
Football meaning: A defensive player catches a forward pass, costing the offense dearly.
DG meaning: A regulatory body seizes an improper shipment, costing the shipper dearly.
Jet Sweep
Football meaning: A handoff to a wide receiver running parallel to the line of scrimmage.
DG meaning: A surprise inspection of a commercial airliner’s cargo hold. Did you pack and label your lithium batteries properly?
Penalty
Football meaning: A rules violation that costs a team yardage.
DG meaning: A rules violation that costs a company money, time and aggravation.
Pump Fake
Football meaning: The quarterback deceives defenders by pretending to throw a forward pass.
DG meaning: A scoundrel deceives a buyer with a counterfeit Labelmaster drum pump.
Read Option
Football meaning: The quarterback makes a snap decision between carrying the ball himself or handing off to a running back.
DG meaning: A shipper makes a snap decision between reading a regulation himself, or just guessing what the CFR says.
Return Specialist
Football meaning: A speedy player who runs back punts and kickoffs.
DG meaning: An expert in reverse logistics.
Rushing Attempt
Football meaning: A player carries the ball while trying to evade defenders.
DG meaning: A shipper hurries through processes while trying to evade deadlines.
Strong Safety
Football meaning: A defensive backfield player who concentrates on stopping opposing ballcarriers.
DG meaning: The desired outcome of full compliance with Dangerous Goods regulations.
12th Man
Football meaning: An enthusiastic home crowd, whose loud cheering augments the efforts of the 11 players on the field.
DG meaning: At some suppliers, the guy who can finally answer your question about DG regulations, after the first 11 people had no idea what you were talking about.
Of course, when you call Labelmaster at 800-621-5808, you’ll have your Dangerous Goods questions answered immediately and completely, because DG is all we do. Enjoy the game!
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